My Testimony
On November 3rd, immediately following the showing of the film, I shared my testimony with an audience of 350+ people. While the emotion and spirit cannot possibly be recreated from that evening, I wanted to make what I said available for myself and others to look back on. You should never let a tragedy go to waste, and I know Hunter would want his legacy to help bring others closer to Christ.
God Limits us to Show us that He is Unlimited
As crazy as this sounds, following Hunter’s passing, I’ve found comfort in a Kid Cudi song.
The song is titled “Love.” The chorus goes like this:
“Don’t be so down c’mon young homie
You’ll be okay, you’ll find real love
All of the stories the hero gets lonely
Now is the time to show what you’re made of”
I think it’s fitting, as Kid Cudi is one of both mine and Hunter’s favorite artists. When I listen to this song I can almost hear God telling me (somehow in the voice of Kid Cudi of all people) that it’s going to be okay, that I will find love again, and that now is the time to show what I’m made of.
I think grief is really just the period of time where you have to find out for yourself if both life and love are worth the pain. Each day is a battle, but I’m getting more and more to a place where I can hopefully say it’s worth it.
For those of you tonight who are lucky enough to have someone that loves you, I hope you never take it for granted. Hold them close and realize the blessing they are in your life. All I’ve wanted these last 4 months is someone by my side who loves me to help carry me through this. Someone who has to listen to me and can’t get sick of it. It’s so hard. Leave tonight loving more and loving like Hunter.
I’ve learned through this tragedy that my testimony is my most prized possession.
I taught this amazing couple on my mission that had this crazy story of them both overcoming addictions. Something they shared with me is that there isn’t a single successful addiction recovery program out there that doesn’t involve some type of God or higher power.
I know without a shred of doubt that that is no coincidence at all. Call it what you want but the Savior is the only way to escape these demons and dark places.
I testify to all of you tonight with the utmost conviction that Jesus Christ is our savior.
The mere thought that He would go through what I am going through on my behalf leaves me in awe.
I know this world can be super messed up and these awful tragedies can happen, but I stand here today as a witness to the refuge and peace that the Savior provides. He is my best friend. I love Him dearly.
No matter who you are or what you have done I promise the Savior yearns to have a relationship with you.
I testify that there is no possible way I could endure the pain of losing my best friend alone. And I know that I haven’t.
I have been joking a lot lately that it feels like God almost forgets what it’s like to not have the full picture or map in view. God nudges us to keep going forward in life and guides and directs us to do certain things. However, it seems that he doesn’t realize we’re literally looking at a WALL of fog, and with each step, we’re passing over knives, rattlesnakes, lava, and all these really scary things. To say the least, it’s hard to move forward. It is certainly hard to believe.
Elder Jaggi of the seventy once told me that the closest synonym for faith is action.
While of course God really does know what it feels like to be cluelessly lost in mortality, sometimes I think we can all feel a little overstretched. However, I testify and promise you that God limits us to show us that He is unlimited.
In situations like these, I can see why people might think God abandons us or must not even exist because he lets these things happen, right? But I know the opposite to be true. Heavenly Father loves us because he lets these things happen. Heavenly Father, better than anyone, understands the trial of mortality, and yet, he lets us learn for ourselves. He lets us experience these things because he knows in the end, we will be able to feel a fullness of joy because of it. He watches, as an overly concerned parent, providing every possible opportunity to feel his love, knowing that this life is freaking hard.
In fact, He has gifted us with our greatest blessing: His son.
Through Him, “death has no sting, the grave no victory”
I will see Hunter again
There will be no more limits
I know that now truly is the time to show what we’re made of
In the name of Jesus Christ, Amen.